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Archive for April, 2006

whats right and whats wrong

i already had my mid-life crisis when i was about 28- when my marriage fell apart and what little construct of a world i built went with it.

i can’t remeber a time in life that wasn’t a crisis and at the age of 40 I think i’m beginning to understand that this is how humans beings tend to build and relate their lives- without crisis and strife there is no measure for them.

so i am finally beginning to understand why I’ve always felt so disconnected from almost everyone around me. because as much strife I’ve created for myself, I’ve always been trying to avoid or get rid of as much as possible.

I’m finally beginning what I’ve tried to define since I was maybe 12 or 13 years old- why this world is just so fucking wrong and so many horrible things go on that are so avoidable.

I love MLK and Vonnegut that much more right now and for being able to finally begin to wrap all this information and knowledge I’ve collected into a single theory which is finally making sense to me as to defining what is so inherently wrong in this world; I understand it’s nature all that much less.

Scientists call whatever they really can’t understand “dark matter” when explaining the universe. They are discovering that dark matter makes up the majority of matter (anti-matter?) out there.

I think it’s the key to all existence. and is as beautiful and as un-understandbale as anything– much less our souls.

and with that it’s time to watch trigun.

for all it’s fucked-upness, life rocks. even if just in small bits.

Update- I found the new word for all thats wrong– Genism.

I’ll explain soon