arrogance
when I grow up
I’d like to be president
or lao tsu
or aristophanes
actually all three
would fucking rock
I am so much less than
I had hoped to be
and I can watch every minute wasted
detracting from greatness
from changing minds
and creating a belief
that will carry humanity forward
into the light
away from the dark
and depravity and violence
thats makes me want to spit
I look at the white page
blank and desolate
it mocks me
I let it mock me
I let it make me fail
I am paralyzed
I am not as smart as I know I am
would it to be so
it’s not
I succumb to knowing
that within a generation
two if I’m lucky
my words
these words too
will be dust
and pollution in a landfill;
what is the half-life of hard drives?
I’ve done good things for people
and really shitty things to others
I have friends
who make me laugh and be rude
my children love me
and are turning into fabulous grown human beings
more than I could have ever hoped
some days
some nights
some mornings
it’s just enough
