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Altoids: Supporting slave beatings since 1780

Apparently Altoids thinks being whipped is like eating a mint. I fully support the person that approved this ad experience the difference.

altoids thinks being whipped is like eating a mint



I get a grotesque comfort reading my old words- knowing they were mine, still are in some strange way- although they aren’t. I had committed them when I did, that me is over and gone- that moment- that cut- that cry- that heat- that brokenness- that seduction.

smeared polaroids in a back drawer


I writed a song!


i couldn’t find my way to you
I didnt know what else to do
and once again
none of that is true

I dont know what is wrong with me
I keep thinking I want to be free
but I am trapped
by myself

Why can’t it just be wonderful?
Why isn’t it already wonderful
Haven’t we done everything
we’re supposed to do?

Why can’t it just be wonderful?
Why isn’t it already wonderful?
After all
It’s only me and you

You look at me with such contempt
I’ve been so crazy I’ve hardly slept
I wasn’t trying to do
anything at all

A thousand possibilities
A million different realities
I can’t explain
I just need to connect

And I bring it down
I always bring it down
It’s never enough
It’s never right
It doesn’t have to be
It doesn’t have to be
It’s okay
It’s okay
It doesn’t have to be
Please tell me it doesn’t have to be

There’s so much more out there
there’s so much we have right here
what is it
that makes that so wrong

I dont know what else to say
I wish we could find a way
to a place
A place that works

Why can’t it just be wonderful?
Why isn’t it already wonderful?
why does it have to be
so fucking hard

Why can’t it just be wonderful?
Why isn’t it already wonderful?
why is it always
so fucking hard

Why can’t it just be wonderful?
Why isn’t it already wonderful?


How to end the Israeli/Palestinian conflict in 5 steps and 5 years

Tomorrow– Israel ends the embargoes and sends several convoys of food, water, medical and building supplies into the refugee camps and Palestinian ghettos.

Gaza, West Bank and a reasonable amount of additional workable land are turned over to Palestinian authorities on an agreement of a non-aggression pact by all parties. Truth and Reconciliation policies are enacted. Multicultural educational programs are deployed emphasizing individualism and respect.

Jerusalem is deemed a multinational/multicultural city free city with a governing board of participant states.

Israel and Palestine agree to host UN peacekeeping forces comprised of western, middle-eastern and African forces to guard borders and enforce peace. Leaders of forces that violate the peace agreement will be subject to UN Tribunals.

Integrated border towns will be built. Israel agrees to devote a portion of their armed forces personnel and budget to helping Palestine rebuild their infrastructure, towns and cities. Semitic multi-culturalism is encouraged. A common people with different beliefs as an example of what humanity can achieve once ignorance and stupidity are put aside.




I have tales of my daughters’ visit from new years and stuff brewing in the back of my head. Picture and stories coming soon. And oddly, a direct correlation to the offensive xenophobic laws that went into place a couple weeks ago across our grand country. One more thing us “Americans” can be ashamed of for years to come.



Many years ago my Mom and I and my brother and my brother’s friend and his mother who happened to be dark skinned were having lunch at a restaurant in Suffern NY. I used to carry a set of business cards in my wallet- I was about 14 or 15 at the time. They read in fancy type: “You are cordially invited to go fuck yourself.”

There was a couple sitting not too far from us who kept whispering in hushes and giggling and staring at us. I really didn’t understand what was going on but my mother did. She asked to see my wallet which i handed to her. She took the wallet, removed one of my cards and got up and walked over to the table the couple was sitting at- presented it to them and turned around and walked back and sat down and we proceeded with our meal.

Mom- for all the things I haven’t done right in my life, you gave me my moral center and taught me right and wrong and how to be a good- if not sometimes loud, human being. You taught me to never compromise your beliefs and to always stand up for what’s right, especially for those that cant or even won’t. And to have a laugh while doing it.

I miss you so…

All my love, your eldest son,


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just registered it.

Look for a site soon


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Tonight I sat out back

Tonight I sat out back
between the mini garden and the petri dish hot tub
and watched the dusken sky turn to an orange mottled gray
and the rare Portland thunderstorm breathe to life above me
You could tell the trees were happy
I am unsure about the banana peppers and the marigolds
but they are transient as I- The trees win out

The lightning arced and slammed into clouds above my head
and just like my mother taught me
I counted the seconds
and just as always
it never really made a difference
because it’d explode regardless of how many miles
and I realized
I didnt really know what the ratio was

the explosions
had a continuity
and I was instantly
In Las Vegas
as the most vicious sheets of icepick rain
slammed into the ground and veins of electric feathered across the valley
In Atlanta
at Donna’s watching the rains pull down a hillside
and dumpsters bobbing along on a hillside parking lot (thats a LOT of fucking water)
In Athens
watching the greatest storm of my life well up over the West Virgina hills
and crash across my porch for nearly two hours; it was like fucking
In the woods in Monsey
Cutting from the strip mall past the Yeshiva
and to my development, the smell of earth, inhaling and drinking
In Spring Valley
watching the from the huge picture window in the living room
that framed the foothills of Harriman State Park and imagining I could grab and hold
the lightning in my hand and make it act upon my command.

The trees were enthralled
my bare chested roommate agreed
as she giggled and hiccuped twirling in the drops

Breathing deep
Breathing deep

The storms mirror the heavens
the primordial essence of anything
that is ever to be
or was

and we
get to enjoy it

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when I’m dead

there are so many things I will miss- grossly, the two top contenders are my daughters’ laughter and coitus (no you sicker fuckers– unrelated)…

But somewhere up close to the top will be the smell and taste of fresh blueberries.

wet tart soul calming wonderfulness- an affirmation of living…

next to laughter and a REALLY good fuck…


so today…

June 3rd my first born daughter turned 19. jesus fucking christ.

I never stop thinking about when they were all babies and particular moments we had- and how much I have missed.

I stopped and held up traffic this afternoon because a ratty squirrel had run into the middle of an insanely busy intersection.

I couldn’t do anything- rather than running back in front of my car to the right to safety, he ran left right under the wheel of a car that apparently didn’t notice him.

i heard the crushing noise.

I miss my mother terribly.

I am so thankful for every day I have.

But I can’t shake this profound sadness…

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