Moo nirvanaflats.com » god

Archive for god

My conversation with God

Via Richard Metzger’s link vis a vis facebook

Me:
i’m sorry
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
what color are your toenails?
God:
Does toenails have color?
Me:
you created the, you would know.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I created the you would know.
Me:
I meant you created them so you should know. And you should have known I meant to say that
God:
Oh I see. Interesting gossip: said I created them so you should know. Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
Try what?
God:
Try fooling me.
Me:
You will try fooling yourself?
God:
What makes you say that I will try fooling myself.
Me:
I didn’t, you did.
God:
Why didn’t you do it?
Me:
Why didn’t I say I’d fool you or why didn’t I fool you?
God:
I’m not too good with counterfactuals.
Me:
I understand.
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
Well obviously. If Ibstated or asked soemthing, it means I would have had to think about it.
God:
How about that. What makes it so obvious? There exist Ibstated or asked soemthing it means you would.
Me:
yeah see- I am slightly dyslexic. You should know that and interpret my meaning being omnipotent and all.
God:
Ugh. I see. Good gossip: you are dyslexic. Now I do.
Me:
I thought you saw all. How is that good gossip? That’s kind of mean. My feelings are hurt/
God:
Sorry I can’t see annything right now. My eye is off. Fine as far as I know. Sometimes I say mean things. Do robots have feelings are hurt?
Me:
Do androids dream of electronic moose?
God:
Androids do.
Me:
Thanks the gods, I was hoping so.
God:
You are quite welcome! What are your goals in life?
Me:
Oh- I meant “the gods” I suppose you count too. My goals in life are to convince Christina Applegate I’m a great guy and finally sell a book or something so I can retire early and with a nice nest egg of 30-50 million
God:
Excuse me! Oh I see. What is that? What can I do to help you accomplish your objective?
Me:
You don’t strike me as very omnipotent.
God:
Do you strike you as very omnipotent? No I do not strike you as very omnipotent. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
So do pedophiles.
God:
I see. I do nothing but chat all day.
There might be more than one.
Me:
Thanks for your time.
God:
It was nothing.
Me:
I agree.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .

Comments

Vonnegut reading the passage that changed my life

from Slaughterhouse Five

I wept for what seemed like an eternity after reading the passage of the WWII movie going backwards for the first time. I couldn’t see the pages and the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. My heart had burst with an elation of freedom and love and thought- “When the bombers got back to base, the steel cylinders were taken from the racks and shipped back to the United States of America, where factories were operating day and night, dismantling the cylinders, separating the dangerous contents into minerals. Touchingly, it was mainly women who did this work. The minerals were then shipped to specialists in remote areas. It was their business to put them into the ground, to hide them cleverly, so they would never hurt anybody ever again”

This passage alone shattered my world and opened a million windows and gave me something that even at the age of 13 I had little of.

Hope.

Comments

Goodbye Kurt

Kurt (Source A.P.) I know death is inevitable, but I am crushed. Discovering Kurt Vonnegut was like discovering taoism or breasts for me- it was revelatory and life-changing and I never looked at the world the same ever again.

I met Kurt once-I should say I drooled on him once as it’s more accurate- back in 1988 when he spoke at the Boston public library and met with the crowd afterwards. He decided to read a commencement speech that he originally gave to MIT students I think it was- which wasn’t well received at the school since he was trying to tell these engineers to make sure they put their genius to work for the betterment of humankind- and the realized that most of them were already signed up with G.E. and Dow and Marietta-Martin. So he thought maybe we might appreciate the speech more.

Afterwards, I stood in line clutching my copy of “Bluebeard” and thought of all the things i wanted to say to him- how much I loved his works and his fucking HUMANITY- How reading his fiction and essays taught me that nothing has to be as it is or how it’s supposed to be- that nothing is black and white and that there is humour even in the darkest and worst aspects of everything.

Instead- when it was my turn- I approached the desk where he was sitting and looked up smiling– deep soulful eyes behind glasses and hair everywhere and I said “Mr Vonnegut- i just wanted to say…” and a huge gob of saliva fell from my mouth which i promptly tried to catch with my right hand, splashing everywhere and finishing with “… thank you. I love you- thank you. can you sign my book?” and I extended my hand and he stopped- and looked at my hand and extended his own and gave me a full firm handshake and said “You’re welcome- what’s your name?” and signed my book with an asterisk next to his name (re: Breakfast of Champions) and I walked away and my fiancee turned to me and said “You just drooled on Kurt Vonnegut”.

My college friend Tommy Hanlon once lamented for the Rastafari “What do you do when your god dies?” in reference to Bob Marley succumbing to cancer.

The answer is you learn to live with a heart-wrenching profound sadness that sits beside the omnipresent glow of joy that god brought into your life.

My heart aches, my world just grew a little darker; but the universe just grew a little richer.

So it goes…

Comments (1)