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How to end the Israeli/Palestinian conflict in 5 steps and 5 years

Tomorrow- Israel ends the embargoes and sends several convoys of food, water, medical and building supplies into the refugee camps and Palestinian ghettos.

Gaza, West Bank and a reasonable amount of additional workable land are turned over to Palestinian authorities on an agreement of a non-aggression pact by all parties. Truth and Reconciliation policies are enacted. Multicultural educational programs are deployed emphasizing individualism and respect.

Jerusalem is deemed a multinational/multicultural city free city with a governing board of participant states.

Israel and Palestine agree to host UN peacekeeping forces comprised of western, middle-eastern and African forces to guard borders and enforce peace. Leaders of forces that violate the peace agreement will be subject to UN Tribunals.

Integrated border towns will be built. Israel agrees to devote a portion of their armed forces personnel and budget to helping Palestine rebuild their infrastructure, towns and cities. Semitic multi-culturalism is encouraged. A common people with different beliefs as an example of what humanity can achieve once ignorance and stupidity are put aside.

TOMORROW.

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Coulter Redux

Ann’s back and she has sand in her…. um. Whatever “she” has. “It” might be more appropriate.

Salon has the recap in case you missed it.

We have the pics to prove-ish Ann’s origins– let’s revisit:

The “F Word” and the “C Word”
March 8, 2007 at 9:29 am:

“But until that happens, here is the Flats’ anatomical examination of the phenomena behind Ann’s scariness- we have always felt that the comparisons to being a “transvestite” were unfair (to transvestites), so we did some anabolic scanning of images of her using the most sophisticated tools available to us (google image search) and these are the results of (what we think) is her true origin”

eeeeeep.jpg

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Compacts Only

Compacts Only

Judge for yourself…

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Super Terrorist Confesses!!!

Super KSM!Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (being referred to in the news as ‘KSM’- perhaps this will become a new sports clothing line?) has apparently confessed to just about everything that anyone bad did EVER.

I am a little late in reporting this (I was busy doing work that actually generates my salary yesterday), wonkette already nailed it; but they didn’t print the full list.

Items missed that KSM (now with electrolytes!) was also responsible for:

AIDS

Vanilla Ice (He has an official web site. I am thinking… Gollum…)

“Flavor of Love”

Toe Fungus

Lindbergh Baby Kidnapping

Keiko’s Death

Oddly- Fox News’ list seemed to not mention one of the most egregious acts; the beheading of Daniel Pearl. Perhaps the snubbing of the ultra-liberal publication Wall Street Journal’s reporter was just an oversight- perhaps they just hate jews as well as blacks.


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Anatomical Miracle! Attorney General speaks through his anus!!!

Torture advocate Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez stated today that “mistakes were made” in how his office handled the firing of 8 U.S. Attorneys and asserted that he will take full responsibility and did so by firing his chief of staff whom is apparently still employed.

Medical experts are astounded that while the phrase “talking through his ass” is quite common, up until today it has been solely metaphorical.

Let’s hope Gonzalez can evolve this talent thusly.

In other news, Joe Conason is all over this (as usual).

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The Disintegration of a Presidency and the Dismantling of America: A call for impeachment

It is no surprise that every aspect of the Bush II presidency is unraveling under close inspection as one scandal after another comes to light revealing ineptitude, dishonesty and a flagrant disdain for the United States Constitution and the American people. “Liberals” and “Intellectuals” that have taken pause to actually examine the decisions and policies from this administration* are not surprised; we have been respectfully (mostly) requesting even the most basic levels of scrutiny and oversight by the media and Congress all along. Whatever the reasons this did not happen, whether it was a willful ignorance or a complicity of inaction; the end result is the most egregious violations of all aspects of laws and life in the United States not the least of which being the trust of the American people.

Nixon lied about Watergate and resigned.
Clinton lied about an extramarital affair and was impeached.

George W. Bush and his administration has knowingly and willfully lied to the American people and the rest of the world over and over again to push their own agendas that have destabilized the globe and caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis and others.

To support my claim and justify my call for impeachment, I’ll provide a list of actions and events that all fall under the sole direction and discretion of the Bush Administration. Every single item listed below has been disputed and refuted by the administration until incontrovertible evidence to the contrary emerged whereas they finally admitted the truth and found someone to take the blame. EVERY item was policy directed from the oval office.

Indisputable facts:

Not Supporting Our Troops…

Going to war under false pretenses and ignored intelligence

There is a mis perception that we went to war with bad intelligence, This is an outright lie. The intelligence offered by all branches of US and allied services was impeccable- they all said there was NO evidence of WMD’s. This is not faulty intelligence, This is solid intelligence work. It just went against what the Bush administration wanted to hear. Just a few instances of President Bush and Vice president Cheney lying:

…with inadequate training

…with inadequate armor and gear

Cutting funding for treatment of veterans

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Haliburton screws Americans yet again

Haliburton has announced that they will be moving their corporate headquarters from Houston, Texas to Dubai, UAE this morning.

I thought it would be interesting to see what news savvy organizations would be picking this up- results below.

But first, here are the notes I took upon learning the news (wholly by accident researching some quotes for Robi):

  • What are the estimated total dollars in contracts that Haliburton/KBR have with the US Government?
  • How many years are these contracts for (just the really big ones)?
  • How much in taxes has Haliburton paid each year on income gained by the U.S and how much estimated do they still have to pay through the end of the current contracts?
  • Do they still have to pay US taxes or are they now going to be fully under Dubai tax law?
  • What clauses/provisions, if any, do our government contracts have about the contracted corporation’s responsibility to serve in the best interest of the U.S. government (none).

The vexing questions I will try to answer in upcoming days.

I think the answers will be brutal. I think the American people have a right to demand that the contracts given to Haliburton be redacted due to the gross misuse and fraud already discovered and now that the company is moving it’s corporate operations to the UAE which has been identified in the 9/11 Commision’s report as having ties to Osama bin Laden and perhaps even aiding and abetting him.

At what point are Americans going to stand up and stop the Bush Administration and their cronies from raping America further? From the start our troops have received inadequate armor and training; have been shoved into a war that had no planning or consideration whatsoever and was initiated on false pretenses; have received the worst in medical care for the injured, both physically and mentally– all the while huge uncontested contracts with little or no oversight are handed to companies like Haliburton that has continually abused and committed fraud (as early as 2004- a year after the war began). Billions of dollars going into a corporation’s hands that has no loyalty or sense of service to the primary country that has fed it. Meanwhile our veterans have dismal medical care and facilities to contend with at home.

This is criminal morally and otherwise.

As to the “Up to the second” news on the internet by the major US news organizations; as of 2:36 pm PDT only the following had the story:

ABC Halliburton Will Move HQ to Dubai
New York Times Halliburton Will Move Headquarters to Dubai
Washington Post Halliburton to Relocate to Dubai

Not sure the WSJ’s story headline really counts- it kind of sounds like Haliburton will be joining a bridge club….

WSJ Halliburton Expands Mideast Presence; CEO to Spend More Time in Dubai

Those that didn’t have anything at all had the following as their top story:

CBS Suspect Arrested In Newborn Kidnapping
CNN Bush greeted by pomp and violent protests
Fox Kidnapped Texas Newborn Found Alive
MSNBC Bush renews support for strong ally Colombia
US News and World Report: Beyond Baghdad, Security Struggles

Draw your own conclusions.

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The “F Word” and the “C Word”

Ann Coulter likes to blow donkeys while getting anal from a german shepard. True story. We have pics.

Or as friends prefer to call her, Ann Cuntwhore.

Funny, eh? Pretty much?

Not really?

Where’s your sense of humor?

How about Ann Coulter is an obnoxious cunt and an attention whore?

Still not funny.

But true.

And offensive (I really hate the ‘C Word’ But there’s a reason why it’s so offensive).

But true.

My guess is that once again Ann’s book sales are lagging- no one is mentioning her name- what with Britney’s crotch and head spamming the news (sadly, neither hair in either location) and Anna Nicole Smith corpse tug-o-war- so she muchly needed some attention. Let’s praise the gods that be (pick a religion) that Ann didn’t expose herself as well- I NEVER want to see a vagina so crusty and dry and puckered up that it resembles corned beef that’s been left in an oven at 200 degrees for 4 months.

Ann is an anti-intellectual shit spewer with the inventiveness of a 9 year old. Calling a candidate for president of the United States a faggot? Holy fuck. This from a person that violates federal law knowingly and isn’t even smart enough to lie her way out of it.

What a douche bag.

The sad thing is that the media (including myself) spend any time at all paying attention to her. She’s a bully and should be treated as one. Ignored into obscurity.

But until that happens, here is the Flats’ anatomical examination of the phenomena behind Ann’s scariness- we have always felt that the comparisons to being a “transvestite” were unfair (to transvestites), so we did some anabolic scanning of images of her using the most sophisticated tools available to us (google image search) and these are the results of (what we think) is her true origin eeeeeep.jpg

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Democracy in Trouble- A letter to NPR

Democracy in Trouble- A letter to NPR
Current mood: horrified

Dear All Things Considered,

I was doing dishes as I listened to the story on electronic voting machines and how difficult the technology is and just caught the last piece about how having a printer print the vote is too complicated of a technology to implement because “the voter wont know if and/or what to do if the printer jams and neither would the poll worker” (paraphrased).

This is potentially the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard anyone utter that has at least an elementary school education.

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The Political Deficit: A Democratic Agenda

The Political Deficit: A Democratic Agenda

One the backslapping and congratulations begin to wane, it will be critical to the future of this country for the democrats to develop and exercise a bold agenda of righting the wrongs of the past 6 years of the Bush Administration. Before they can do that, there needs to be an acknowledgement that the democrats did NOT squeak by with a majority in the house and senate by having a vision or a plan that the people entrusted to them. They won because of the disgust and abject mistrust of the republican house and senate and 10 years of abuse.

Shrub claimed to have gained “political capital” after the 2004 election- and as ridiculous as that statement was, he wielded that capital as if it actually existed while the democrats, the press and the public sat idly by. Our country is in shambles. Shrubs policies from “you are either with us or against us” to “spreading democracy and freedom in the war against terror” has had a definitive impact. We now have nearly everyone against us, allies included and we have spread terror far and wide and destroyed our best chances of freedom and democracy in the middle east. Our domestic policies are in dire trouble as well- education systems failing as “no child left behind” has left millions behind, the dismantling of FEMA leaving this country with no Federal emergency management abilities whatsoever and even as far as to shut down the EPA libraries around the country as a “cost saving measure” literally making it impossible for any kind of environmental impact studies to be completed without costing 20 times as much and taking far longer than they used to making challenging any development plan an impossibility.

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