Moo nirvanaflats.com » retro

Archive for retro

whats right and whats wrong

i already had my mid-life crisis when i was about 28- when my marriage fell apart and what little construct of a world i built went with it.

i can’t remeber a time in life that wasn’t a crisis and at the age of 40 I think i’m beginning to understand that this is how humans beings tend to build and relate their lives- without crisis and strife there is no measure for them.

so i am finally beginning to understand why I’ve always felt so disconnected from almost everyone around me. because as much strife I’ve created for myself, I’ve always been trying to avoid or get rid of as much as possible.

I’m finally beginning what I’ve tried to define since I was maybe 12 or 13 years old- why this world is just so fucking wrong and so many horrible things go on that are so avoidable.

I love MLK and Vonnegut that much more right now and for being able to finally begin to wrap all this information and knowledge I’ve collected into a single theory which is finally making sense to me as to defining what is so inherently wrong in this world; I understand it’s nature all that much less.

Scientists call whatever they really can’t understand “dark matter” when explaining the universe. They are discovering that dark matter makes up the majority of matter (anti-matter?) out there.

I think it’s the key to all existence. and is as beautiful and as un-understandbale as anything– much less our souls.

and with that it’s time to watch trigun.

for all it’s fucked-upness, life rocks. even if just in small bits.

Update- I found the new word for all thats wrong– Genism.

I’ll explain soon

Comments

Dignity, Grace, Intelligence

Dignity, Grace, Intelligence

Coretta Scott King died last night at 78 years of age. Coretta was the epitome of everything positive a human being could become while trying to make the world a better place. Always standing in the shadows of Martin; Coretta was the bedrock for her husband, her children and the peaceful change civil rights movement. The assassination of Martin if anything, made her stronger and more of a force to be reckoned with. In the nearly 40 years that have followed, Coretta has built an intellectual empire dedicated to non-violent change, championed civil rights globally and still; amazingly; stayed in the background and nurtured her family and friends and community.

I’ve been involved in civil rights and constitutional justice efforts since I have been a teen and at every turn; whether campaigning for the end of Apartheid, going to a civil rights march in Forsythe County, GA, or working with human rights and peace activists; Coretta Scott King was always in the fray in one way or another. Her name constantly popped up as did the King Library and endowments.

Whether or not you agree with the politics, I think it would be hard to disagree that the goal of equal rights for all is flawed in any way.

It would take an army of people to carry on the torch that she has left for us. So at least take an hour or two a month from your life—maybe stop playing that silly video game, and do something good to carry on the movement. Volunteer in a local reading is fundamental program. Donate some money to Unicef. Get involved locally with a women’s shelter or a food bank. Educate your children, your parents your neighbors that every person regardless of ethnicity, religion or sex has the unalienable right to life, liberty, equality and the pursuit of happiness*.

Goodbye Coretta, I hope you can finally find some peace.

Comments

That N******* Crazy! (Goodbye Richard)

I got home this afternoon after shopping and paying some bills and went to do my pre-WoW activities- fresh glass of water, make sure cold beers are in the fridge, make sure the cell phone is within arms reach and check cnn.com front page just to make sure- ya know- like the east coast didn’t blow up or there isn’t a meteor headed to demolish the earth etc. when I saw the headline

Comedian Richard Pryor dies at 65

and a wave of sadness fell over me just as it had when I was living in New York when I was 15 listening to the Jets game on the radio and heard that John Lennon had been “shot and wounded” or when I heard Charles Bukowski had died without my knowing—like months earlier, or just recently when HST decided he had enough life and took his own- going out in a bang as was Hunter’s style; a deep soul-rattling sadness.

I spend a lot of hours weekly playing and fighting alongside and/or against many of you and many are around my age (I’m 19 of course) and one of the reasons I think we do this almost nightly besides wanting phat lewt is because there’s a friendship that has developed across the miles and countries between people that enjoy each other’s company and words and ideas and know that we’ll back each other up when something happens- whether it’s in-game or in real-life. There’s something that connects us all and the primary thing is who we are- the humour and the decency and the not so politically correct moments of sheer insanity that we can create together.

I know that Richard’s comedy was a [i] huge [/i] influence in my life from listening to his albums “That N’s Crazy” a personal fav; or movie gigs with Gene Wilder, the whitest of white men on screen; Richard pushed the boundaries of everything until they broke open and let everything come flooding in or smashing outwards. Nothing was off-topic from fetid crotch smells to the KKK to doing his own lit match joke about himself he was just funny as fuck; but even more importantly he showed us how fucking insanely stupid all the societal walls we’ve built for ourselves are. Whether it be white vs. black or jew vs. arab or men vs. women he obliterated the idiotic precepts and gave humanity an unadulterated look at it’s own stupidity and made you laugh so hard until you peed a little doing it. ROFLPAL…

It’s been a weird year- Just a couple days ago was the 25th anniversary of John Lennon’s assassination, a few weeks ago Rosa Parks passed away; now we’ve lost Richard Pryor.

The world’s a little darker and a little sadder today- but it’s a fuckload lot funnier because of him. Goodbye Richard, I genuinely hope you’re in a better place.

Moo

Comments

Arrogance is Fascism

We live in what might be considered the most distasteful and darkest times of American history; save 400 years of slavery and the abject brutal discrimination of anyone of “color”. The Shrub legacy had already been defined in the first two years of his presidency, and continues to the nth degree in the three years that has followed. It is incredulous to many that the blatant disregard for liberty and human life is so widely accepted in the wake of the September 11th attacks on the U.S continues unabated- the ease that trifles such as the tens of thousands of Iraqi deaths and the continuous kidnapping, torture and assassination of non-combatants in the war against “terror” are totally disregarded in the name of “freedom” and “safety”. And that is just speaking of acts committed by the U.S. side; not even considering the “insurgency”.

We have to acknowledge, although you wont find nary a mention in all mainstream and even in many of the alternative presses; that the willingness to shoot, kill or maim anyone deemed as a “possible threat” is an acceptable practice and is being carried out with “extreme prejudice.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Comments

what do they fear?

Current mood: amused

I just found out, persons from europe are being blocked from view the www.georgewbush.com web site– a friend of mine from slovenia found out today and found this article.. http://www.dmeurope.com/default.asp?ArticleID=4075

Perhaps they are afraid of… well shit. i cant think of a single reason they’d ban anyone. Unless they weren’t first vetted pledging an oath of undying support for Shrub. and what use do the RNC and Shrub have for the europeans anyway? Smelly liberal lot of cheese eaters. The plus side, the more they close themselves off, the better chance we have of them just dissappearing. Ya know?

Comments

at what point does it just get too fucking ridiculous?

Current mood: Mother-fuckin’ ripshit violent

It’s just too much- forget the fact that estimates now say over 100,000 Iraqis have been killed, that innocent aid workers are being kidnapped and beheaded, that the incredible self serving greed got us into all this in the first place- forget all that. I expect government to lie, cheat, steal. Look at Clinton the great middle-of-the-roader. Yeah- he’s light years better than the current administration, but he passed many policies that fucked with the environment, supported big business over social policy, etc.

But you know- as much as I hate the Neocons and their Reaganite legacy,e ven after they bought the supreme court so they could win- i never ever EVER expected they would go so low as to hire people that throw out ballots, try to change election laws at the minute to screw the vote, employ intimidation and threats to keep people from voting, do every vile possible thing to subvert the democratic process. This goes way beyond Florida in 2000. This isn’t Sierra Leon. This isn’t El Salvador. This is AMERICA. I am so fucking offended. I’m no pollyanna- after years of political activism in college and beyond trying to push for justice globally and help save the people of the world- I realized that these people mostly don’t want to be saved. I kept fighting anyway. It was the right thing to do. I know that we do not live in a representative democracy. If we did, Gore would have won and the electoral college would not exist. I’ve read Howard Zinn. I understand the fallacy of freedom and liberty for all and how our country is set up to benefit the wealthy by keeping a large middle class in the middle to keep the poor from rioting.
I’m no fucking Pollyanna.
But, for all the flag thumping, bible humping, rhetoric dumping; I still had a belief that these people at some core level believed in the United States and the governmental structure that our founders set up. I can even extend myself enough to even think that some of them think they are right and are not only out for greed and white christian supremacy. I have once again been proven wrong and once again my ability to have any faith in anything has been bashed into a bloody pulp.
I get emotional when I vote. Really. i walk into a polling booth and I feel a rush of blood through my body, my cock stiffens, my heart rate increases and tears well in my eyes. It’s so important to me. It’s so intrinsic to the very basic precepts of a free society. It’s the only thing I hold dearly from the laws of men that has any meaning and worth. The right to vote is America. Without, even the lie of what we stand for is meaningless.
I am so sick with anger, i want to spit and spit and spit.

I am so sick with anger, i can’t feel anything.

I am so sick with anger.

I feel so sick.

Comments

There

There

There’s that pervasive cynicism
That makes it so easy to discount
Everything
It is just far too easy
Just because
We all know how it should be
And we are most likely right.

So why is it
That common sense
Logic
Passion
Peace
Love
Humanity
Justice
Never prevail
Without a fervent vigilance
And a rod in one hand?

It’s because we assume
That what we see, is
What we get
Dig a little deeper
Split some flesh
Into the sinew
You might just find
What was on the surface
What you determined to be the truth
What you gave up hope on
What is that may be
And should have been
Was just that
All the time

And we tried

And

We were wrong.

Comments

flink pamingoes

flink pamingoes

there’s something about a perfectly manicured lawn
crisp cool minature valleys of green strands
neatly clipped uniformity
hedges shaved like ancient pompei
stewart-coded collections of pansies and glories;
that gives me the sudden urge to pee
or adorn with cracked toothed garden gnomes
sporting machetes
or pepper with pink flamingoes at odd angles
and questionable positions.

theres nothing wrong with a nice lawn
painting the house every spring
grout work on a saturday morning
gleamy matching bimmers side by side
his hers

theirs

last night I ran out of dental floss
thank the gods for cigarette celophane wrappers

for a while back there
or then
I gave it a shot

big ass fridge that could hold 3 weeks of perishables
a cow, two chickens and three fish
and two rowdy naughty daughters if you pushed real hard

a fourteen hundred dollar couch
white
which we changed diapers on
after getting too lazy to run upstairs
not so white when we donated it to goodwill

every couple years
bigger better rental
bigger better plans
good schools
good food
good sex

well
best of situations
best of plans
dont always work out
I read somewhere

it’s not the end of the world
even if it feels like it
I swear I found horse poop
and a scythe in the backyard
the day before I left

history doesn’t repeat itself
history repeats up on itself
infinitely worse

the difference now
I suppose
is that the littler things matter more

I may have gotten it all wrong
but at least I tried

we have bad moments
we crash and burn
Bactine removes the sting
but it doesn’t heal

I am no longer wanting the skin graft
just someone to help squeeze the fucking bottle

and my lawn be damned.

Comments

The American Jihad

The American Jihad

In one of his video appearances, Osama Bin Laden invited the world of Islam to rise up against the western world. The Bush administration has apparently decided to meet this challenge. Some even question if they made this decision prior to September 11th, 2001.

While the campaign in Afghanistan was at first questionable, it actually did accomplish several positive things (disrupting Al-Qeda, forcing Pakistan and India into a tense peace) with a minimal loss of innocent lives. Sadly, the promises to support and rebuild the country after the ‘war” have largely gone unfulfilled; Kabul remains in ruins and the country is still fraught with violence and desperation while War Lords slowly resume control of areas pockets of the country and the opium trade was set back on track.

The saddest aspect of the US response to the September 11th attacks was the unprecedented opportunity to create something positive out of the horrific events of that day. The world, in response, was aghast at the mass murder that took place in New York and Washington D.C. that morning. Even long-time sworn enemies of the US demonstrated support and sent condolences. But instead of taking this momentum begat from global outrage at terrorist violence and murder of innocent non-combatant citizens and creating a world-wide forum of unity against such acts, the Bush administration pulled out the Bush I-era Wolfowitz document and almost immediately used it to polarize the world. “You are with us or you are against us,” said Bush II.

Read the rest of this entry »

Comments (1)

Namaste

“I honor the place in you where Spirit lives
I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Truth, of Light, of Peace.
When you are in that place in you,
and I am in that place in me,
we are One.”

With all the video and the sermons and sabre rattling and the threat of further impending war, we here at Too Much Good Air would like to remember all the innocent people that lost their lives before, on, and after Septemeber 11, 2001 by abhorrent and violent means and recognize the countless thousands that regardless of skin color, religions or belief; to this day strive to better the lives of the less fortunate, selflessly help those who are hurt, hungry or in need, and work towards a common goal of peace and equality amongst all peoples on this world of ours.

We suffered a tremendous loss a year ago at the hands of a few hateful self-righteous bastards. We are no longer immune, The United States is not an Island. We are a nation of a proud and determined people; and we join the ranks of of dozens of other nations of proud and determined people. We have a choice whether to take our pain and suffering and use it as a justification for vengenance and war or as a means to understand the reasons horrific events like this happen and to take positive actions to eliminate the support for people that would cause violence and harm by taking innocent lives and creating terror. As a global Super Power, the choice is ours. And the whole world is watching.
Namaste

The editors

(from toomuchgoodair.com 2002)

Comments